I wish I had known this sooner
Lessons that don't come naturally
If there's one piece of business advice I could have given myself when I first started, it would probably be:
Take yourself 90% less seriously. But take full responsibility.
Take full responsibility for making it happen.
You're not used to taking responsibility in your life.1
Here's a golden opportunity.
And funnily enough, it will not break you. It will make you.
There are so many things to learn when starting a business. (And that’s before having to contend with imposter syndrome!)
One of the lessons it will give you is the revelation that taking responsibility doesn't have to feel like a burden. It doesn't have to be feared. It can be liberating.
At the same time, learning to be with yourself less seriously will open you up. A weight you didn't even know was there will start to lift.
You will carry yourself differently. You'll be lighter, and more 'emotionally agile.' Not because you'll suddenly be carefree (you'll never be quite that!), but because you will learn to integrate all these aspects of yourself that make you you, and you can hold them with far less rigidity.
These are two skills that intertwine. Two ways of being, two practices, two choices.
They take a long time to integrate. But the effect and impact they have is profound. It’s the transformation you can’t describe to people. But, they notice. They notice you carry yourself differently. They notice you speak differently. They notice you have a self-assuredness you didn’t have before.
Here’s the thing. Despite the title of this email… obviously, I wish I could have known and integrated this sooner…
That’s not where I was.
I was where I was, because I didn’t have much practice beforehand. Because I was barely aware I needed to take myself less seriously, or take a lot more responsibility for myself.
I don’t blame myself for being where I was. Honestly, who knows how my 'advice' would have landed? Would I have even understood? Probably not.
And so, I conclude that the advice I would give myself is probably not 'advice.' It’s more a reflection of what I’m proud of. This lesson has not come naturally!
I think a lot of the things that don’t 'come naturally’ to us are some of the lessons and transformations we can be most proud of.
What transformation are you most proud of?
What did you struggle with, perhaps many a time, that you now look back on and think, I’m glad I persevered ?
I’m glad I didn’t give up, even when I didn’t know what I was doing.
I’m glad I kept stumbling, I’m glad I kept going. I’m glad I prioritised what was important to me, even if I didn’t know exactly how it would affect or change me.
I want to be clear, in no way am I 'transformed' into the being that is 100% less serious about myself and takes full responsibility, all of the time. I am never going to be that person.
This is a journey, not a destination. And yet, transformation will still happen on that journey.
What can you celebrate — exactly as you are right now — knowing you’ve changed, or gone on a journey… and still have a way to go?
Let’s celebrate that :)
Kathryn
PS. Did you see my tiny book? It’s for creatives just starting out on their journey; or for perhaps those who want a reminder… you’re not alone. You are not broken. Please create — what you want to create. Create the conditions to help you keep going. (This book helps with that.) Get it for free here.
PPS. I am now on holiday! I will be sending a few dispatches/’mini-postcards’ while I’m away but will also taking a break for a few weeks. If that sounds vague, it’s because I haven’t quite decided on a posting schedule. Nothing like leaving it open 😎😅 I’ll see you in your inbox soon :)
This I learned through much soul-searching; and somatic exploration — which I would recommend!