PS. I like you is a weekly newsletter for creatives… who want to change something — about themselves, their lives, their work — and be proud of it ✨
Let me tell you about an amazing-but-also-completely-ordinary moment I had last week. Which I am very proud about. And, once I share it, I hope will inspire you to find some similarly ordinary-yet-amazing moments of your own that you can feel immensely proud of too.
It started with a group coaching call. Where we all offer coaching, and get coached.
Now, traditionally, I have NOT enjoyed group coaching. In fact, “I find group coaching difficult,” is a thought I often have.
Because, traditionally, I have been very defensive and resistant to being coached.
I’m a coachee who loves to argue. Who loves to say why that won’t work, or why things aren’t as simple as other people make them out to be.
I usually have an answer for everything. And this means I don’t learn very much!
However, I am learning.
I have learned, for example, that actually, I am very good at taking things on board — once I am out of the room.
Once I have my own time, to relax (and unwind from the coaching), I am very good at listening to what has been said, reflecting on my own behaviour and thoughts... and thinking again.
I would not necessarily recommend that this is the best way to get coached. But turns out, I’m a very good example of 'most of the learning, and integration, takes place outside the coaching container.'
I hope this makes clear I can be very resistant to coaching — at times.
Particularly, when it’s in a group — of people I have never met before.
Which is what happened last week.
Last week, I got coached by a group of strangers. People I had never met before, offered their opinions, reflections, and questions — on my thoughts about my goals.
I had asked to be there (in the coaching container). But that didn’t make it any less difficult to be there. To actually listen and take on board what they were saying.
Every single thing that was offered to me, I could sense myself wanting to argue. (Not necessarily to prove them wrong, but to prove, I've already thought of that.)
Anyway, this time, I didn’t argue. (Not out loud, at least.)
I simply noted my thoughts, and resistance, and decided this was incredibly helpful. (People were offering me thoughts, that were bringing up thoughts of my own — that I hadn’t been fully aware of; that were stopping me from doing things I wanted to do. And this is what so much of coaching involves.)
I say I 'simply’ did this stuff. Because on one hand, it was simple.
But on the other, this was the culmination of A LOT of hard work.
Hard work listening to myself. Hard work listening to others. Hard work being willing to acknowledge that you don’t have to be right about everything; and that every moment is an opportunity to spark a different way of thinking.
Last week I did a lot of things I'm proud of.
But this moment in particular stands out for me.
Not because I was an exemplar student. (I wasn’t)
Not because I did it perfect.
But because I responded differently. To how I have in the past.
And that means everything to me.
One of the things my clients report is that it’s the moments they notice they have changed, that mean the most to them. These are the moments they hang on to, and remember, as markers of who they are now and how far they’ve come.
That is the reason we do coaching. To change, as people, on the way to who we want to become.
It is not easy. It is not linear.
But it is doable. Even when you’re a resistant student like me.
Now, think of a moment. Of disappointment, and learning.
Think of a time when you were challenged and learned.
Think of a moment you knew you had changed.
Be proud.
And know, you will change again.
Love,
Kathryn
PS. I like you
Do you have goals for this year but are afraid to speak them out loud? Do you want to make something happen this year, but aren’t sure you have the capacity to ‘follow through?’
Here’s the thing. You don’t need to ‘believe.’ You just need to show up for the call. Again and again. Imperfectly.
I promise, the thing you think is holding you back, you can address, in coaching. You don’t need me to be your coach, but if you have an inkling you want to create something this year, or something needs to change and you don’t know what… come along for a consultation.
We’ll have a chat about where you are and where you might like to be in 6-12 months’ time, and even beyond. We’ll talk about what you want to do and how you can get there. We’ll talk about the actions you can take. And then, the rest is completely up to you 🙂
Book a call. It’s free and will help you work out what you’re looking for.
PS. Last call for The Gentle Business Gathering! Register to watch my workshop — on how to discover, accept and trust your pace — and a whole host of others from business owners, coaches, creatives and facilitators, speaking on how to run a business that is in alignment with who you are. Happening 23-25 Jan. Get your free ticket here.
PPS. 🎼 Listen to the Chinese New Year Song — it’s addictively catchy 🧧 Gong-Xi Gong-Xi Gong-Xi Ni Ya, Gong-Xi Gong-Xi Gong-Xi Ni!! 🧧🎊