PS. I like you is a free newsletter for creatives with self-doubt. #Hello! 👋
One of the first things I wrote about when I started writing my newsletter, was how much doubt I had.
I had so. much. doubt.
And, I loved writing about it.
Because it was easy for me; to access my doubt, and spill it all over the page. I had lots of material, after all.
It was also easy for me to cohere a narrative around it; it was easy for me to fit into a story.
It was easy for me to create a story that fit the idea of the person I thought I was.
Here’s the thing; I am so glad that I wrote about my doubt. I am so glad that I found the courage to write about it and share it with strangers. I know that reading about the doubts I had, helped people with theirs.
But also, at some point, it felt a little too easy. A little too familiar. I started to feel like this was all I had to say, even though part of me suspected it wasn’t.
At some point I felt like I was beginning to over-identify with my story.
It’s not that it wasn’t true. It’s not that I was ashamed of it. It’s just that I felt it was becoming more of my story than I wanted it to be.
We all tell ourselves stories. We all tell ourselves narratives about who we are and what we can be.
We are all enamoured with our story. Even if we don’t always like it, it’s still fascinating to us. After all, it’s ours.
So, here’s what I want to say if you find yourself writing (either literally or metaphorically) a story over and over again, that you maybe wish could be different.
Thank your story.
Thank you.
Thank yourself and your story for doing the work of carrying you though — here, to where you are.
Thank yourself for creating a narrative that makes sense in your mind, and that brings you a sense of meaning.
Thank yourself for the good work it has done — for both yourself, and others.
There is nothing wrong with your story.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You get to identify with your story as much as you want. Truly.
You get to revel in, and celebrate, the fact that you created it.
It is a wonderful story.
And it’s also, if you want to, time to change it.
How do you change it?
However you want to.
I’d suggest asking yourself some questions:
What would I like to say differently?
What other stories might I want to tell?
Then, start there.
Start the story you want to tell, and go from there.
The narrative you have right now is a narrative. Another one could be equally true.
Find the chinks of truth. Find the words that settle in your stomach. And grow them. Grow them into a beautiful story.
Love,
Kathryn
PS. I like you
Hey, I know what it feels like to be stuck in a story. (…It kind of sucks!) The good news is, you can change it. You can write, and create, a different story. One piece, and one narrative, at a time. If you’d like help with the process of making a new story — one that feels supportive of the person you want to be — get in touch.