PS. I like you is a weekly-ish letter for creatives, business owners, and people in transition… who want to make a change in their work, or life, or both.
The other day I coached a client on whether they wanted to put up their Christmas decorations.
There were a lot of ‘shoulds’ in the picture:
🎄 I should do it because everyone else wants it.
🎄 I should do it because that’s what’s expected.
🎄 I should do it because that’s what people want. Including me. Except, it’s hard work. And I’m always the one who does it.
Now, I — Kathryn, don’t put up Christmas decorations. Never have, no intentions to either.
However, I also have a friend — a friend my age — who loves filling her home with thoughtful, carefully-chosen bits and pieces. Things that mean something to her. Bring her joy. Spark some special feeling inside.
I don’t know exactly what she’ll be filling her home with this Christmas, but I know that whatever she chooses, it will make her happy.
So, here’s my “Christmas message” for you:
It’s your choice.
It’s your choice what you think about it.
Whether you’re excited to fill your home with precious knick-knacks,
Or whether you choose to think that decorations are a waste of time,
Your. Choice.
If you think you’re obligated, check in. Check in what other people’s thoughts and expectations are.
And if people are going to be disappointed, because you didn’t put up Christmas decorations, (happens!) then you have another choice.
🎄 Choose to put up decorations, because that’s what they want; and you can choose to think how wonderful it is. Their joy; your gift; the magic in your sharing.
🎄 Choose to resent everything and everyone. (If you want 💁🏻)
🎄 Choose to not put up decorations, and risk people’s disappointment.
All valid. All choices. All up for your consideration.
Get clear on what you want to do and why you want to do it.
Get clear on why this is meaningful to you. (Or if it isn’t.)
And then bring that with you. Bring that feeling, or that memory, or that voice inside your head that says, “This is why I want to do this. This is why it matters to me.”
And then, be at peace with your decisions.
Be at peace with the idea that you chose — made an honourable choice — with the information, the circumstances, and the thoughts you had at the time.
And then, you know, go out and enjoy your decision…
PS. I like you.
“…but what is a relationship? It’s two people telling each other who they really are and what they really need.” — Ask Polly
“On a dark dark hill there was a dark dark town. In the dark dark town there was a dark dark street…”