Seeking clarity, getting still + transforming discomfort
A simple exercise for when you have *all* the questions about what to do with your life
PS. I like you is a free newsletter for people who sometimes wish they could start all over again. And move abroad. And be a hermit. But also, see all their friends whenever they wanted.
I’ve been on holiday the past two weeks.
Two weeks of glorious sunshine, friends, food, and having a good time.
And now, I’m back. And it’s dark and cold.
It’s dark and cold, and at least part of me wishes I was elsewhere.
These are the times when we are prone to asking ourselves, “What am I doing with my life?”
What do I want to do with my life, with the time I have left? What do I want to do going forward? How do I know where to start?
These are very big questions. Some would say, overwhelming questions. And sometimes it feels like the easiest thing to do, would be to sweep it all aside and start all over again.
We want to be able to see what we need to do next.
But how do we know, when there’s all the clutter of our regular life to contend with?
What I would suggest is that looking ‘out there’ for the answer is probably not the first step.
It’s like searching for a needle in a haystack… in a field of haystacks with needles in them. Even if you stumbled upon a shiny needle, you wouldn’t necessarily know that this was ‘the one’ you were looking for.
When we feel lost and disoriented, the first thing we want to do is find stability; find our bearings.
So here, for a moment, we need to get still.
We need to be able to hear ourselves think, and give ourselves time to hear the answer.
We need to stop distracting ourselves with whatever myriad of things we could do, and give ourselves the time to listen to the call of what we might need.
This isn’t easy. There are a lot of distractions.
But there are also the distractions, the ones you create, that you will use to avoid the discomfort of having to listen to yourself.
It seems easier to sweep it all away, because then we wouldn’t be bombarded with the noise and the distractions, and then we could finally hear ourselves think. In total calmness.
But you can bring some of that calmness to you right now.
You can take 5 minutes of your day; and see what makes you calm.
You can dedicate an hour to listening to yourself, and asking what you might need.
And if you find the thought of that uncomfortable, ask yourself why. Not in a judge-y way; but in a way that you really mean it.
What is the positive intent underneath that discomfort you feel? What might it be protecting you from?
Here’s something you can try with discomfort. Find the sensation — in your throat; in your stomach; in your body, wherever it lies.
And imagine that sensation as a visual metaphor. Imagine it inside, or part of, your body. Notice its shape, its colour, its density, etc.
And feel what it takes to transform that discomfort.
You can imagine it dissolving, melting, diffusing, whatever makes sense for you. Whatever it takes to transform that original shape into something new and different.
And notice how you feel. Notice if you can feel that discomfort moving.
This isn’t to get rid of the discomfort completely. But it is to notice that we can relate to it differently.
The more we can practise relating to, and being with that discomfort, the more likely we are able to hear what it has to say. The more likely we are to hear what we’ve been trying to tell ourselves all along.
In this way, you won’t be searching for a needle in a haystack, out there. You’ll be noticing the clarity within.
You’ll notice you’re full of answers, for the life you want to create. One intentional step at a time 💛
PS. I like you
Seeking clarity going forward? Sometimes the first thing we need to do is get still.
This is a practice — listening to and hearing ourselves; and if we’re not used to it, this can be uncomfortable and tricky. A coach is a great person to guide you through this — which I happen to be! 😉 You can always find out more about coaching with me here.