Scared to share your words and work in public?
An audio & creative pep-talk from me :)
Ever thought: “I’m scared to share my words in public. I’m afraid of not being good enough and people judging me. How do I get over my fear and just hit publish?” Then this post is for you :)
Listen to the audio version here:
A lot of my clients share their words in public. Whether that’s on a blog, via social media, a newsletter, etc.
I am sure they have all, at some point, wondered if what they were sharing was good enough.
I’m sure they have all worried about being judged.
It is a very common thing to wonder, “What will people think?”
It is very normal to wonder how our peers will perceive us.
You’re not abnormal for being scared to share your words.
The thing I tend to recommend when people first start sharing their work or writing is to find a place that feels as safe as it can be.
This might mean posting anonymously. This might mean sharing your work or writing with a few select friends who you know aren’t going to be critical.
For me, it was easier to first start sharing with strangers. At least they didn’t know me in real life!
We all feel differently about what we share and how we share it.
So I can’t give you specific advice on what exactly to do; but what I can say is if you feel that call to share and express yourself, then find a way that feels: “Okay. I can do this.”
It can be very small. It can seem insignificantly tiny.
Too often, we are caught up in comparing what we do with what we see others doing. And the thing is, those people we see the most often are usually way further down the line than we are. They’ve been doing this for years.
You have not. So you don’t need to make the same grand expressions that they do.
“But what if I never make it? What if I just keep staying small? Won’t this take a really, really, really long time?”
Yeah, it might take a really long time, but then again, don’t you want to be doing this for a long time?
The first writing I shared in public, I think, was on a fan fiction site. I must’ve been 15, 16?
I considered this anonymous posting. I had a username, but it wasn’t my real name. Sharing stories for people to read and potentially critique was scary. However, for me, it wasn’t nearly as scary as sharing social media posts and newsletters (much later on) under my own name. Sharing my artwork and my ambitions for life was kind of terrifying.
I look back on what I was writing—say, in 2018—and I can see I was so tentative.
What I see is that it’s taken me years to be comfortable with the process of communicating and sharing my words in public. (And I would say I still have plenty ways to go!)
I would also add that I’m still incredibly inexperienced in terms of communicating via audio or video. I’ve barely touched it.
However, I’m sure that if I did make a concerted effort with audio or video — and I can imagine one day I will — I would likely progress my confidence far quicker than I did when I first started sharing my writing and words online.
Because one of the main things I’ve learned — and this is a secret I wish a previous version of me had known — is:
People don’t care; nearly as much as you do about your work or what you post.
They care a fraction of what you do.
(And I think that it takes time to really feel that, and to carry that belief with you.)
Knowing that frees you up to publish; to hit the send button.
At the very beginning pressing the send button is like doing a heavy workout. It requires full-on dedication and effort, and it takes all your strength and energy to press it.
And as we get more practised, that button starts to feel a little smaller and easier to press.
It takes time to build that muscle.
Which is why I recommend, as much as you can, finding a way to make that initial button press as easy as possible.
You will grow as much as you keep pressing that button. As much as you keep publishing. As much as you keep noticing and working and reflecting and doing all the wonderful things that you will do in the process of you writing and sharing.
Don’t worry about where you’ll get to, or how you’ll make it, or if you’re growing fast enough.
Focus on the creation. Focus on hitting that button and sharing. Celebrate yourself as you do it. And notice how the button gets smaller and easier to press over time.
Always show yourself that you are going through the process. Our brain very easily discounts our own work, so you need to deliberately remind it and yourself that you are going through the process.
If you think it’s not as easy as that… I would say this isn’t actually especially easy!
Lots of people struggle with this, for a reason.
But they’re often trying to make it too big. Too worthy. They’re worried if it’s this little thing, then it doesn’t count. It’s not impressive enough.
If you think of a child doing a drawing or making a piece of art, do you tell them it’s not impressive enough? Do you tell them to 'think bigger, aim higher, work harder?'
Or do you celebrate where they are and the joy they have found in creating the piece in the first place?
Don’t do yourself out of that celebration and that joy.
Do your work. Hit publish. Be human.
Kathryn
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