I have a very dear friend who, when she was a child, was told she was thick (stupid).
My friend is not thick.
She is incredibly perceptive, gentle, warm and kind. She has an emotional intelligence and self-awareness that is both hard-won and unique to her — and you can tell it is always in practice.
My friend is dyslexic. And because of that, she was told she was stupid.
I cannot stress enough how wrong that is.
Not only because of the immense hurt it causes. But also, because of the repercussions. The cost: to her life, her future, and the lives she touches.
Think of all the things you don’t do, when you think you’re stupid.
Think of all the hurt and pain you carry, the feelings of shame. Think of the way you choose to interact with people, the subtle forces of judgement you try to avoid. Think of what you’re willing to risk, and perhaps unwilling to try.
When we carry around the belief we’re somehow deficient or ‘abnormal,’ we adapt accordingly. We stay quiet and small.
That the world shames people like my friend and tells them they are stupid absolutely pains me.
The cost — to my friend, and the world — is so great.
The cost of believing we are not capable... I cannot put into words.
One of the reasons I love my friend is that she’s an example of someone who decided she didn’t need to believe everything the world told her.
I’m not saying she’s found it easy. In fact, she would be the first to say she has so much more to learn. But every day she shows me how to create a life that isn’t determined by what other people said she could and couldn’t do.
If you’re worried about ‘wasting your potential’ (and I put this phrase in quotation marks because I have conflicting feelings about the concept), I encourage you to think less about what you ‘should’ be doing, and more about what you would do if you knew you were ‘allowed.’
If you weren’t stupid.
If you weren’t afraid.
If you didn’t have to worry about getting it ‘right.’
What would you do?
Who would you be?
What would you enjoy more of?
What would you have less of?
Your new life isn’t created in the future. It’s created every day, one step at a time.
Many loves,
Kathryn
PS. If you want to stop listening to ‘shoulds’ and not only hear, but deeply trust, the voice inside your head, let’s work together. If you’re craving self-acceptance, self-trust, and a way to create a life that feels truly led by you, check out my coaching page here.